A or B ? :))

I’d just like to share something.

I am confused- confused with my course. ( okay i know it's too shallow for a problem ) When i took the UPCAT, I had Architecture as my first choice of course (Journalism's second) . As you may have noticed, I draw stuff :))- and it's like the one thing I can do well. When I got the results of the UPCAT, i got a DPWS (Degree Program With Available Slot), it's their way of saying "you passed, but you're only an excess of those who are qualified, so if the much more smarter people than you chose Ateneo or La Salle or some other university than UP, you can have their slot". So as time went by, those who had DPWS were made to choose 3 courses that they would like to take. With that I thought "Maybe the reason why I didn't get into Architecture was because I'm not meant to design structures and stuff." Then I thought that maybe I should be more than what I am capable of. So I had BS Biology on my first choice and Architecture was my second choice. I thought the night after that if I get accepted for BS Biology, maybe I'm meant to be a doctor rather than an architect.

When the results came, I was accepted for BS Biology. I got really confused, i asked myself "What if I had Architecture still as my first choice, would I get in?"



Of course my parents thought that me being a doctor would be great and all our relatives could go to me when i become a one. But as time passed by, I got more confused , I was like a girl shopping for shoes. I got myself heels because I thought they're more fashionable than sneakers. But as I wore them, I had a hard time walking and going places and I thought, "Maybe I should've bought sneakers, though they're not that fashionable and stuff, they're comfy and I could go anywhere without hurting my feet." But still, heels look better.

But enough with shoes and stuff. I am simply confused.



After some weeks of thinking about stuff. I thought, if I were a doctor, I'd look cool ( now that's a dumb thing to think of :)) ), I may get a bigger salary, it wouldn't be hard for my family and relatives to get a check up or something, I could push myself to stuff I never knew I could do, I'd know much about my health, I could help, and I guess every country in the world is in need of doctors. The downside of that is, I can no longer continue the one thing I'm good at- drawing and designing (okay whatever, I'm really lame.) . I thought, maybe I could be part of a magazine's art section editors or something, but then people say, being a doctor means having no time for other matters. Woah. With that I thought, if I had a job and I was an on-call doctor, I wouldn't be part of any holiday or occasion. I wouldn't have more time with my future husband or maybe my kids. It would be a hassle for me to dine with my family on Christmas Eve when I am asked to stay in the hospital or I may not be able to be with my child on his/her birthday if someone had an appointment with me on that day. Another big thins is that, being able to practice medicine takes longer years. Before I could even get a Master's degree or something, I would have to go 4 years for my premed course, another 4 for medicine, then maybe 3 to 7 years for studying for what I may want to specialize. We're not that rich, we can manage, but I don't want my parents to still provide me with stuff when I'm like 22 or 23 years old or something. I want them to enjoy each other because they're almost on their 50's.
So I may have to get a job first before I continue with my course. GOSH.
I really like the job but I guess I wont be really happy.





On the other hand, if I chose Architecture, my parents might get disappointed- of course, they were amazed and proud and all because there's gonna be a doctor in the family. They said that it's hard to get a job with such field of specialty now so finding a long time job as an architect would be hard. I don't really wanna see myself stuck to buildings, structures, and stuff then designing or planning them my whole life, I want to be more on the more important stuff, like touching lives, or helping people, or doing some changes or something (like how Mother Teresa does it *winks*)- they seem more fulfilling. But then, architecture only takes up about 5 years so I wouldn't have to triple the budget for my education. I could go on with a not so hectic schedule and I could still be part of the non-working holidays, special stuff, and others. I could make a really well designed home for my family, but then doing that wouldn’t take much time so it’s not really a great factor. But still, with this course, I could still draw.

So then I was left between something that seems more important to everyone and something that I like doing but isn’t that fulfilling.

Could you please tell me something?. You can get mad at me or laugh at me for thinking about such matters. Just say something please, I am just so confused.

To set aside the confusion and the serious stuff, I'll be watching Toy Story 3 tomorrow ! yay ! haha. :) (watched Killers last Wednesday, it was kinda weird, quirky, and cute. :P doh.